Your Thoughts Your Reality

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Have you ever felt like life was happening to you instead of for you?
For many veterans, first responders, and families, trauma does not remain in the past. It can change how the present feels—leaving someone anxious, disconnected, constantly on guard, or determined to control everything around them just to feel safe.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Michelle Strigotte, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Serene Integrative Services in Post Falls, Idaho.
Michelle grew up with an Army veteran who served in Vietnam and lived with severe PTSD. Witnessing how trauma can keep someone trapped in survival mode helped shape her commitment to whole-person mental health care for veterans, first responders, and people experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety, and trauma.
Together, Mike and Michelle explore The Fourth Silent War: Control.
They discuss why the need for control is not always stubbornness or a personality flaw. For someone who has experienced trauma, controlling the environment can become a protective response—an attempt to prevent being hurt, surprised, or caught off guard again.
The problem begins when the response that once helped someone survive starts making it difficult to rest, connect, trust, or feel safe in the present.
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Control — “Why does life feel chaotic, and what can I truly influence?” 
Emotional Armor — “What protected me then but keeps me disconnected now?” 
Connection — “How is what I am carrying affecting the people closest to me?” 
Identity — “Am I defined by what happened to me or by how I move forward?” 
Trust — “Can I believe that receiving support is safe?” 
Michelle also explains transcranial magnetic stimulation, commonly called TMS—a noninvasive prescription treatment that uses targeted magnetic pulses to stimulate areas of the brain involved in mood regulation. She discusses how the treatment is administered, why every person requires an individualized medical and psychiatric evaluation, and why TMS should be viewed as one part of a broader healing process rather than a cure or replacement for appropriate professional care.
Mike and Michelle also explore the importance of therapy, nervous-system regulation, self-awareness, sleep, relationships, physical health, personal values, faith, and daily choices. Michelle shares what it means to treat the whole person instead of reducing someone to a diagnosis or symptom score.
Most importantly, this episode challenges the belief that strength means suffering alone.
Receiving help is not surrender. It is a courageous decision to stop allowing past danger to control the rest of your life.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why trauma can create an intense need for control 
 How survival responses can continue after the danger has passed 
 Why PTSD, anxiety, and depression are not signs of weakness 
 What holistic, whole-person mental health care can include 
 What TMS is and how it is administered 
 Why individualized professional evaluation remains essential 
 How healing can positively affect spouses, children, and relationships 
 Why asking for help may be one of the strongest actions you can take 
 One immediate step you can take when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed 
If something in this conversation resonated with you, do not immediately move on to the next thing.
Pause and ask yourself why it affected you. Then choose one point of connection. Tell someone you trust that you are exhausted, overwhelmed, or need help taking the next step.
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
Learn more about Michelle and Serene Integrative Services:
👉 https://sereneintegrative.org/
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And taking control back does not mean controlling everything—it means choosing the next courageous step you can take today.
#Control #TraumaRecovery #PTSD #TMS #MentalHealth #Veterans #FirstResponders #EmotionalArmor #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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What is really stopping you from moving forward?
For veterans, leaders, and high performers, fear does not always look like fear. Sometimes it looks like anger, avoidance, perfectionism, isolation, overworking, or shutting down before life has the chance to hurt us again.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Lauri Clontz, founder of Start Driving Your Destiny, a transformational movement helping people stop living on autopilot and begin creating their lives with greater clarity, confidence, and purpose.
After spending approximately 24 years climbing the corporate ladder, Lauri appeared highly successful from the outside. She led international teams, became the person everyone depended on, and built a reputation for always getting the job done. Underneath that performance, however, was a quieter battle driven by fear, perfectionism, self-doubt, and the belief that she always had to prove she was enough.
Together, Mike and Lauri explore The Ninth Silent War: Fear.
Lauri explains how fear can disguise itself as responsibility, excellence, productivity, or control. She shares how her need to perform kept her working 12- to 14-hour days, isolated her from the people she loved, and ultimately cost her one of the most important moments of her life: being present during her father’s final moments.
That painful realization forced her to confront a difficult question:
What are you working so hard for if the life you are building keeps taking you away from what matters most?
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Fear — “What am I avoiding, and what is really driving my behavior?” 
Self-Worth — “Why do I believe I must constantly perform to prove I am enough?” 
Control — “Am I intentionally directing my life, or reacting from old patterns?” 
Direction — “Is the way I am living taking me where I truly want to go?” 
Identity — “Who am I beneath the perfectionism, productivity, and expectations?” 
Lauri also explains how the brain develops protective patterns during pressure, rejection, trauma, and repeated stress. Those patterns may have helped us survive an earlier season of life, but they can eventually keep us trapped in automatic reactions that no longer serve who we are becoming.
The answer is not to shame yourself for those patterns.
It is to recognize them, name what is driving them, separate them from your identity, and begin choosing a different direction—one small action at a time.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why fear often appears as perfectionism, anger, avoidance, or overperformance 
 How old survival patterns can quietly take control of your daily decisions 
 The warning signs that you may be living on autopilot 
 Why productivity does not always mean you are making meaningful progress 
 How to identify what is truly driving your behavior 
 Why small, imperfect actions can create lasting momentum 
 How celebration helps reinforce healthier patterns and choices 
 The first step you can take today to begin reclaiming control of your life 
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
To connect with Lauri and learn more about her work, search Start Driving Your Destiny on Instagram and Facebook, or search Lauri Clontz on Facebook and LinkedIn.
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And once you recognize what has been driving you, you can take back the keys and choose where your life goes next.
#Fear #StartDrivingYourDestiny #LauriClontz #Perfectionism #Autopilot #SelfWorth #Direction #PersonalGrowth #Veterans #HighPerformers #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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What if the answer to disconnection is not becoming tougher, more guarded, or more independent?
What if the bridge back—to ourselves, to one another, and to a greater sense of meaning—is caring?
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Dr. Tony Nader, a medical doctor, neuroscientist, consciousness researcher, New York Times bestselling author, and global leader of the Transcendental Meditation organizations.
Trained at Harvard Medical School with a Ph.D. in Brain and Cognitive Sciences from MIT, Dr. Nader has spent decades exploring consciousness, human potential, and the deeper principles that connect the mind, body, and world around us. His newest book, The Power of Caring, examines why caring is not merely an emotion or act of kindness—it is a transformative force capable of changing individuals, relationships, communities, and society.
Together, Mike and Dr. Nader explore The Third Silent War: Connection.
For veterans, first responders, leaders, and high performers, strength often means carrying the weight, solving the problem, and protecting everyone else. But that conditioning can also make it difficult to receive support, express vulnerability, or feel genuinely connected after the role, mission, or environment changes.
This conversation challenges the belief that caring makes us weaker. Instead, Dr. Nader explains how caring can create greater strength, belonging, resilience, cooperation, and purpose—and why our ability to care for others begins with understanding the deeper connection we already share.
This episode directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Connection — “Where do I belong, and how do I reconnect?” 
Emotional Armor — “Can I remain strong without shutting people out?” 
Trust — “Can I safely open myself to others again?” 
Mission — “How can caring become part of what I serve now?” 
Legacy — “What kind of impact will my presence have on others?” 
Mike and Dr. Nader also discuss the relationship between consciousness and human connection, why isolation can affect how we experience ourselves and the world, and how caring can help move people from separation toward greater unity.
This is not a conversation about becoming passive or ignoring boundaries.
It is about recognizing that real strength includes the ability to see, understand, and care—and that connection may be one of the most powerful resources we have for healing and moving forward.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why caring should be viewed as a strength rather than a weakness 
 How consciousness influences the way we experience connection 
 Why people can feel isolated even when surrounded by others 
 How emotional armor can protect us while also creating distance 
 Why caring for yourself and caring for others are deeply connected 
 How greater connection can support resilience, meaning, and purpose 
 What individuals can do to create a more caring world 
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
Learn more about Dr. Tony Nader and The Power of Caring:
👉 https://www.thepowerofcaringbook.com/
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And caring may be the bridge that brings us back to one another.
#Connection #ThePowerOfCaring #TonyNader #Consciousness #Belonging #EmotionalArmor #Veterans #FirstResponders #PersonalGrowth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
Support the show

Send us Fan Mail
What are you working toward now?
For many veterans, families, first responders, and high performers, the next mission isn't about accomplishing more.
Sometimes...
The mission begins with healing.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Rebecca McCord, a vagus nerve activation and gut health coach whose mission is helping people improve their mental and physical well-being by supporting the body's natural ability to heal.
Inspired by her grandfather's service during World War II, Rebecca has become passionate about helping veterans and others struggling with PTSD, chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, and the long-term effects of living in survival mode.
Together, Mike and Rebecca explore The Second Silent War: Mission.
They discuss why so many people focus on pushing through pain instead of understanding what their bodies are trying to communicate. Rebecca explains the powerful connection between the nervous system, gut health, chronic stress, inflammation, emotional wellness, and mental clarity—and why true healing often starts with creating safety within the body.
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Mission – "What if my next mission is healing?" 
Control – "What small choices can I make to help my body recover?" 
Identity – "Who am I when I stop living in survival mode?" 
Direction – "What if healing is the next step forward?" 
Emotional Armor – "What has my body been carrying that my mind hasn't acknowledged?" 
Rebecca shares practical ways to begin calming the nervous system, the importance of vagus nerve health, why gut health affects mental wellness, and how simple daily habits can help people reclaim peace, energy, and purpose.
This episode isn't about finding another quick fix.
It's about understanding that your body was designed to heal—and sometimes the greatest mission you'll ever take on is giving yourself permission to begin.
In this episode, you'll learn:
 How chronic stress affects both the brain and the body 
 Why vagus nerve health plays a major role in emotional regulation 
 The connection between gut health, inflammation, and mental wellness 
 Why healing isn't weakness—it's preparation for your next mission 
 Simple daily practices that help regulate your nervous system 
 How caring for your body creates greater clarity, resilience, and purpose 
If this episode resonated with you, don't keep doing this alone.
There's a reason this conversation connected with you.
Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to continue these conversations each week:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
And if you're ready to take the next step toward creating lasting change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And sometimes the greatest mission isn't proving how strong you are—it's allowing yourself to heal.
#Mission #Healing #GutHealth #VagusNerve #MentalHealth #Veterans #MilitaryTransition #PTSD #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
Support the show

Send us Fan Mail
What are you working toward now?
And is your health helping you get there… or holding you back?
For many veterans, leaders, and high performers, health becomes something we promise ourselves we'll focus on later—after the work is done, after the mission is complete, after everyone else has been taken care of.
But what if taking care of yourself isn't a distraction from your mission?
What if it's what makes your mission possible?
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Ruth Petitt, a U.S. Navy veteran, health and wellness advocate, and coach who transformed her own life after years of unhealthy habits, yo-yo dieting, and believing lasting change wasn't possible.
Through strength training, consistency, and a commitment to changing her lifestyle—not just chasing another diet—Ruth discovered that real health is about far more than appearance. It's about having the energy, resilience, confidence, and discipline to live the life you're called to live.
Together, Mike and Ruth explore The Second Silent War: Mission.
They discuss why so many people put their health at the bottom of the priority list, how physical health influences mental resilience, and why building a stronger body often creates a stronger mindset. Ruth shares her own journey from struggling with unhealthy habits to discovering that sustainable transformation comes from consistency, not perfection.
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Mission – "Is my daily life supporting what I'm trying to accomplish?" 
Control – "What choices can I make today that move me forward?" 
Self-Worth – "Do I believe I'm worth investing in?" 
Direction – "What habits are shaping the future I'm creating?" 
Identity – "Am I becoming the person my mission requires?" 
This episode isn't about chasing the perfect body.
It's about building the health, strength, and resilience needed to fulfill the purpose you've been given.
In this episode, you'll learn:
 Why your health is directly connected to your mission 
 The difference between temporary diets and lasting lifestyle change 
 How consistency creates sustainable transformation 
 Why strength training builds more than physical strength 
 How your daily habits shape your future 
 Why investing in your health is one of the greatest investments you can make in your purpose 
If this episode resonated with you, don't keep doing this alone.
There's a reason this conversation connected with you.
Start by connecting deeper with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
You can also watch and subscribe on YouTube to continue these conversations each week:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
And if you're ready to take the next step toward creating lasting change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And the mission you're called to fulfill begins with taking care of the person who's meant to carry it.
#Mission #Health #Wellness #Veterans #MilitaryTransition #Leadership #Mindset #HighPerformance #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
Support the show