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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
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  • Dr Emily - That Guilty Feeling
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au How often do you feel guilty? Guiding us on a guilt trip today is our resident psychologist (and published author) Dr Emily Musgrove. Differentiating guilt from shame or regret, Dr Emily takes us back to the very beginning to explain the purpose and function of guilt as a pro-social behaviour which your cave-person ancestor probably would have used to keep them in the tribe. When used wisely, guilt is a useful recognition of information that can alert us when we have gone against our values or dropped our moral standards. However, as Dr Em explains (and people pleasers would know all too well) guilt can quickly becoming overwhelming, exhausting and make you feel like you’re always letting someone down. In this episode, Dr Em dives into the seemingly never-ending guilt of being a parent, especially a mum, as well as the guilt associated with caring for ageing parents. Dr Em, you’ve done it again. To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/wLLJdF1edVE 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - What Are Your Values? - https://apple.co/4dckMpy Dr Emily - What Are Your Boundaries? - https://bit.ly/409jO91 Dr Emily - Truth v Harmony - https://apple.co/40pgYO7 Dr Emily - Who Is Your Inner Critic - https://apple.co/3XaFdw9 Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4jPHq9F Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://apple.co/4hhc2RB Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://apple.co/48hrQiQ 📖Things to read Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2 The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins - https://bit.ly/3SUcvhv Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy - https://bit.ly/443BPXE Choice Points by Russ Harris and Colleagues - https://bit.ly/4jUZjnw 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Cate Campbell - Even Olympians Have Depression
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au - this week, featuring a reflection from none other than Cate Campbell. By the time she was 16, Cate Campbell had figured out her social currency: achievement, in the form of gold medals, no less. Four time Olympian and world record holder Cate joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer the question ‘How and when have you been dishonest with yourself?’ From telling herself she was ‘fine’ to having a breakdown over a Milo, Cate recounts the intense period of loneliness she experienced during Covid, and the depression she ‘didn’t deserve’ to feel. This episode emphasises the critical importance of connection for our mental health, and Cate so beautifully articulates the impact of finding love at first sight (friend addition), and navigating a changing relationship with her sister Bronte. Coming of age in a world where perfection is praised and your failure makes headlines, Cate is so generous in sharing how she had learn to ask for help and to value her mental health like she would her physical. Cate, you are simply the best. To watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: http://bit.ly/40ecuJc 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The Thief of Joy - https://bit.ly/44h52iW 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Campbell "Struthless" Walker - Withdrawing with Drawing
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au Do you think of yourself as a creative person? How does being creative make you feel? Today we welcome into the Academy of Imperfection (reluctant) expert Campbell Walker, better known by his online moniker, Struthless. Drawing on his hypothesis that creativity is the antithesis of destruction, Struthless discusses how to train yourself in creativity, the 70% rule in completing a creative pursuit, and, thankfully for Hugh, how to recognise and celebrate your creative brain in everyday tasks. Struthless opens up about the moment he realised drugs had stopped becoming fun, going deeper into his struggles with addiction and how he reframed one of his most shameful moment by asking “how could this be the best thing that has ever happened to me”? Ryan and Struthless chat about the mental health benefits, and absolute joy, of journalling (just ask anyone who’s bought My Imperfect Life), and how to make sure that the pain doesn’t win. Figuratively, illustratively and literally, we loved hanging out with you, Struthless. If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - http://bit.ly/3TrGI7I 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4ksJXYL How (And Why) Ryan Dumped His iPhone - https://bit.ly/41RY15O 📖 Things to read Doom and Bloom, by Campbell Walker - https://bit.ly/3HnCQSv Your Head Is A Houseboat, by Campbell Walker - https://bit.ly/3SxJUOW The Medium is the Message, by Marshall McLuhan - https://bit.ly/3T7tUmP 📺 Things to watch Boss Baby - https://bit.ly/4438FJe Pingu - https://bit.ly/43V1EsW 🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction, the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015, is a great place to start. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Isaac Humphries - Coming Out On Court
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au There is currently only one gay man actively playing in a professional, top-tier basketball league anywhere in the world. And today, we had the enormous privilege of welcoming him into the studio. Demonstrating Olympic-level vulnerability, Isaac Humphries made global headlines in 2022 when he came out as gay to his basketball teammates. However, as Hugh, Ryan and Josh learn in this chat, this moment was the result of a lifetime of chaos, confusion, darkness, and ultimately, courage. In this episode, Isaac talks through his horrific experience of childhood bullying, and how basketball became both a sanctuary and a space of secrecy. For Isaac, he never imagined a world where he could keep his career and live authentically as his whole self. An incredible journey, which includes a Beyonce-esque move of dropping his last name for a time, Isaac describes to Hugh, Ryan and Josh what it felt like to come out to his mum, live as an openly gay man for the first time, and finally, come out to the world. Finding light in the darkest of times, Josh and Isaac discuss the importance of purpose, which prompts Hugh to reflect on how this episode is the epitome of The Imperfects: how vulnerability leads to authentic connection. Isaac, we love you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube (and see Hugh’s model shot), click here - https://bit.ly/43YQXpc 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/42GsmEJ Hugh’s Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People - https://apple.co/4l4kw0m 📺 Things to watch Isaac’s Coming Out video - https://bit.ly/3HxvR9O 🎧 Things to listen to Isaac’s music, including the song Be Alright - https://spoti.fi/4mTSGol 📖 Things to read The Velvet Rage, by Alan Downs - https://bit.ly/43XZ3hH 🏳️‍🌈For some great educational resources, head to Pride in Sport - www.prideinsport.com.au/resources 🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling, these are a few great resources QLife - provides anonymous and free LGBTI peer support and referral for people over 18 wanting to talk about sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships. 1800 184 527, www.qlife.org.au Minus 18 - Through a preventative model of mental health support, Minus 18 tackle social isolation by creating fun-filled spaces where LGBTQIA+ people under 18 feel they belong and are celebrated www.minus18.org.au Lifeline - 13 11 14, www.lifeline.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Dr Emily - Using The Force For Good
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au This is where the fun begins. Today we welcome the Return of the Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, to talk about the Force in all its (clinical) glory. Amongst the immense excitement of Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Dr Emily talks through the lightness and darkness inside us all, and how the presence of a good mentor makes a world of difference. Bringing psychology back to the forefront of this ep, Dr Emily likens Yoda’s general vibe to the principles of Acceptance Commitment Therapy, whilst also pointing out the incredible power of mindfulness (just ask Luke Skywalker). Hugh, Ryan and Josh chat with Dr Emily about The Hero’s Journey, main character syndrome and how to let go of our ego to embrace your authentic self. May the Force be with you. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3FGlYG6 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - Resent Less, Live More - https://bit.ly/4mGNOCP Dr Emily - Hope - https://apple.co/4l9des9 Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - https://bit.ly/3SyoWj0 Dr Emily - Grief Lightening - https://bit.ly/4kki9W6 Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://apple.co/4e2Io05 Hugh’s Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People - https://apple.co/4l4kw0m Hugh’s ADHD…brief (Bonus From Patreon) - https://bit.ly/4jefaNP 💻Things / people to check out Tara Brach - https://bit.ly/43Fk8gR Scott Barry Kaufman - https://bit.ly/4dSmwFK Dr Robyn D Walser - https://bit.ly/4kEI5M0 Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey - https://bit.ly/3HlH516 The Star Wars Catalogue - https://bit.ly/3HzXi2x 📖 Things to read Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Om The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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