Financial Feminist

To work to change a system, you have to understand it first. But as today’s guest will show you, it turns out our understanding of American patriarchy is completely different than what we thought it was. Today I sat down with Anna Malaika Tubbs –– two-time New York Times bestselling author, sociologist, and storyteller with a PhD in sociology and a master's in gender studies from the University of Cambridge, plus a BA from Stanford (whew!) — and we're talking about American patriarchy. We get into why the Founding Fathers and the Constitution are inherently patriarchal, what history actually teaches us about how change happens, and why Anna wasn't surprised by Trump's reelection. I threw out almost every prepared question because this conversation was that good. This episode will make you furious and hopeful in the same breath.

Anna’s links:

Website: https://annamalaikatubbs.com/

Erased by Anna Malaike Tubbs: https://bookshop.org/a/90037/9781250876690

The Three Mothers by Anna Malaika Tubbs: https://bookshop.org/a/90037/9781250756138

Also mentioned in this episode:

Steve Phillips, How We Win the Civil War: https://bookshop.org/a/90037/9781620978481

Sarah McBride on Why the Left Lost on Trans Rights | The Ezra Klein Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlbNFsAGFRc

Bookshop.org website: http://Bookshop.org

Not sure what to do with your money? Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ and take our FREE Money Plan Quiz to get your personalized money plan, and find any resources mentioned on our show

00:00 Intro

01:40 What "American patriarchy" actually means

06:37 The Founding Fathers' blueprint

15:21 The tug-of-war at the center of all American history

19:19 Why Trump's re-election wasn't a surprise

25:10 How slow progressive change actually works

31:55 Do all roads lead back to patriarchy?

36:04 "We haven't arrived anywhere new"

45:28 Moving rights to the states: a repeating tactic

52:48 Can you get rich in a system that wasn't built for you?

58:51 The power you already have
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A video I posted about the tradwife movement blew up, and the comments made one thing clear: most people are using "tradwife" and "stay-at-home mom" interchangeably. They are not the same thing, and the difference matters. In this episode, I'm breaking down what a tradwife actually is versus what Tiffany Dufu calls a "non-compensated working mom," why romanticizing financial dependence is dangerous no matter how happy your marriage is right now, and the seven concrete moves every woman; married, partnered, or neither; needs to make to protect herself financially. This isn't anti-marriage or anti-stay-at-home mom. It's pro protecting you from financial ruin.

Not sure what to do with your money? Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠  and take our FREE Money Plan Quiz to get your personalized money plan, and find any resources mentioned on our show.

00:00 Intro: The 15-word post that broke the internet

00:37 Meet Tori + episode overview

01:46 What is a tradwife, actually?

02:32 Why the tradwife aesthetic is so appealing

04:21 The Ballerina Farm irony

05:01 Tradwife vs. stay-at-home mom: not the same thing

06:39 Tori's parents: how to stay home without losing financial power

07:52 Why women hand over financial control

11:09 "Your boss can starve you too" — debunked

12:10 "Just marry the right man" — what the data says

15:28 Tradwife trend = burnout in a sundress

15:44 The real villain: the system, not the woman

18:28 The 7-step financial protection plan

18:48 1. Put your name on everything

19:13 2. Have your own money

19:51 3. Keep your credit alive

20:08 4. Know every number

21:08 5. Keep your skills and network warm

21:38 6. Know your legal protections

23:00 7. Have the "what if" conversation

23:37 Closing: bet on yourself
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In this edition of Study Hall, I'm compiling all of our best credit card debt advice into one place so you can stop Googling in a shame spiral at 2 a.m. and actually understand what's going on with your debt. I'm breaking down how interest really works (and why credit card debt is uniquely expensive), walking you through step-by-step payoff strategies,  including the avalanche method, the Debt Free Guys' lasso method, and using personal loans to consolidate, and I'm finishing with some real talk about why shame is the worst debt payoff strategy on the planet. If you're carrying credit card debt and you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like it's somehow your fault: this episode is your starting line.

Pay off credit card debt fast. Check your eligibility without it affecting your credit score. Go to ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/payoff to see if you qualify. Terms apply.

00:00 What makes up debt? 

01:00 How credit card interest actually works

04:00 Why credit card debt compounds into a "slippery slope"

05:30 Paying down the principal to reduce total cost

06:30 Getting your debt payoff plan together

07:00 Step-by-step: list debts, calculate payments, find extra

08:30 The avalanche method explained

09:30 Tori's Toyota story: paying toward principal

12:00 The Debt Lasso Method with the Debt Free Guys

16:00 Why balance transfers only work with a real plan

18:30 Personal loans: what they are and why they work

22:00 Simple interest vs. compound interest for debt

23:00 Things to consider before getting a personal loan

25:00 When personal loans are NOT the right move

28:00 What personal loans should NOT be used for

29:00 Debt settlement and your rights as a consumer with Leslie Tayne, Esq.

31:00 The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act

33:00 Tori's closing pep talk: debt is not a personal failing

35:00 Goal-setting hack: specific, timely, and mission-driven

37:00 Writing goals in past tense — the visualization hack
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Today I'm sitting down for another chat with one of my favorite guests, Danielle Robay. Danielle’s a TV host, journalist, host of Question Everything, co-executive producer of Bookmarked alongside Reese Witherspoon, and also one of my IRL good friends (a friendship that started, fittingly, as a work relationship). We're getting into how to turn relationships into your next job, business, or opportunity, and what to stop doing immediately if you want to earn more. Danielle reframes "networking" as long-game relationship-building, hands you a follow-up template you can use tomorrow, and explains why the cold "can I pick your brain?" email is going straight to the trash. If you're in transition — graduating, switching careers, getting a business off the ground — this one's for you. 

Danielle’s links:

Website: https://www.daniellerobay.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniellerobay/

Danielle's podcast: https://www.daniellerobay.com/prettysmart

Question Everything card game: https://questioneverything.us/   

Catch our other podcast episodes with Danielle:

How to be the Most Interesting Person in the Room with Danielle Robay: https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/ask-better-questions/

Owning Your Ambition with Danielle Robay: https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/owning-your-ambition-danielle-robay/ 

Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ to grab our free Goal Setting Worksheet for a framework that will help you set actionable goals to take your dreams from ‘hope’ to ‘action.’  

00:00 Intro 

00:59 Why ambitious women network constantly but don't earn more

02:30 How Danielle's relationship to networking changed as her platform grew

04:30 The invented husband + two kids: a boundary hack

06:00 What makes a bad ask (and how to make a good one)

08:00 The "Quick question" subject-line hack

09:00 Why the "why" matters more than the "how"

11:00 Curiosity is a skill — and you already have it

13:00 The bamboo plant story

17:00 How to stay motivated when nobody's replying

19:00 What high earners do differently when they network

22:00 "What's your biggest pain point?" — the email that lands interviews

26:00 Mid-episode: free goal-setting worksheet

27:00 Where women network in ways that get them liked but not paid

33:00 The networking habit to stop immediately

35:00 Role play: how to follow up in 4 real scenarios

42:00 Getting into rooms where decisions and dollars are made

44:00 The #1 shift to make this year: throw the event
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If you've been checking every box, hitting every goal, and somehow feeling further away from yourself than ever, this episode is for you. Our guest today is Michelle Razavi, and she’s back with an important message. Since she was last on the show, she and her co-founder Nikki have grown their business Elavi into a multimillion-dollar business now in Costco, Whole Foods, H-E-B, and Thrive Market. Michelle is one of the rare founders who builds with absolute tenacity and protects her peace. In this episode we get into the neuroscience of why hustle mode is working against you, the tech boundaries that actually hold, the real psychology of why you won't delegate, and what it takes to build as a woman of color when the odds are stacked against you. 

MIchelle’s links:

Website: https://elavi.co/ 

Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ to grab a copy of our free Side Hustle Skill Finder to figure out exactly which of your existing skills can make you money!  

00:00 Intro 

03:30 Energy management vs. time management

05:00 Executive function vs fight-or-flight 

09:30 Getting comfortable being uncomfortable

14:00 "Why isn't it happening for me?" 

19:00 Urgent vs. important

24:00 "Can it wait?" and "Is this serving me?"

27:00 The physical first signs of burnout 

36:00 When online harassment becomes a panic response

40:00 You can't go from chaos to calm in two minutes

42:00 The five senses checklist + sitting on the ground

44:00 Redefining relationships and "balance" across seasons

47:00 Technology boundaries that actually hold

54:00 Let's rebrand delegation: accepting 80%

59:00 Building as a woman of color when people doubt you

1:05:00 Envy as information

1:09:00 One small shift this week: put your phone away
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