You've built the life you were supposed to build. The career, the house, the family. Everything looks right from the outside. So why does something feel quietly wrong?
750 years ago, Rumi had everything. Respect. Wealth. Disciples. Then a wandering teacher named Shams threw his books into a fountain and set his world on fire. What emerged wasn't a broken man. It was one of history's greatest poets of the human heart.
Gary Fabbri works with leaders who look like Rumi before the fountain. People who've achieved everything and are quietly wondering: is this really it? His new book argues that the ultimate habit isn't productivity or mindfulness. It's the capacity to hear what you actually want underneath all the noise you've learned to ignore.
🎙️ Guest
Gary Fabbri is an author, breathwork teacher, and creative director who speaks fluent "both worlds." He's not the guru asking you to leave your life behind. He's someone who's lived the good-but-not-great existence and found his way through.
What makes him interesting isn't just his framework. It's his willingness to admit he's spent years in what Stephen Pressfield calls a "shadow career," serving other people's creativity instead of creating his own work. This book is him finally letting himself be seen.
🔥 Key Insights
✅ Good is the enemy of great (and harder to escape than failure)
Rumi's cage was gilded. The problem wasn't that something was wrong. The problem was that everything was fine. Gary sees this constantly: successful people who've optimized for security and accidentally locked themselves under a ceiling they can't name.
✅ The Shadow Career trap
You build something adjacent to what you actually want. For Gary, it was decades as a creative director instead of creating his own art. The shadow career feels safe because it's close enough to your calling that you can tell yourself you're on the path. But proximity isn't arrival.
✅ Potty training your awareness
Awareness develops in stages. First you notice after the fact. Oh, I just reacted badly. Then you catch yourself mid-reaction. Eventually, maybe, you notice before it happens. Beating yourself up for being at stage one just keeps you stuck there.
✅ Numbing is not the same as stillness
When life gets loud, we reach for things that quiet the noise. Scrolling. Drinking. Bingeing. And it works. For a moment, the chatter stops. But there's a difference between flooding your system until you can't hear yourself and actually letting it empty. One is escape. The other is arrival. They feel similar in the short term. They do opposite things to you over time.
✅ The rooms you've closed might hold your greatest gifts
Picture yourself born into a castle with every room lit up. Then slowly, through small comments and social cues, you start locking doors. Don't show off. Don't take up space. Don't be that guy. By adulthood, you've forgotten half the castle exists. We explore the idea we often hide our most beautiful gifts and capabilities because somewhere along the way, we’ve learned that they are somehow wrong.
✅ If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him
The guru is supposed to light the path, not be the path. When you find yourself following someone because they have all the answers, you've probably stopped doing your own work.
▶️ Listen now
Gary's book is called Atomic Awareness. Worth picking up if you're questioning the life you might be quietly settling for.