3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Consistency has never come easily to me. I'm a scattered creative, I have ADHD, and I have struggled with routines and habits for pretty much my whole life.

For years I assumed that meant something was wrong with me, and I felt like it was my fault that I couldn't stay consistent with anything.

But this week's guest, Monica Packer, has changed how I feel about habit-building.

Monica hosts the podcast About Progress, she recently wrote the book Sticky Habits, and she's one of my best friends in real life. She has spent a decade teaching women to build habits in a way that is compassionate and realistic for busy moms. She gave me a new definition of consistency in this conversation, and it is the first one that has ever made habit-building feel possible for someone like me.

In this episode, you'll learn:

🫶 The research on invisible labor that explains why habit advice written for men keeps failing you

🫶 Why our insistence on doing it perfectly is the very thing keeping us from staying consistent

🫶 What Monica did to make the habit of going to bed at a good time stick, even though she hates it

If you've been feeling the pull to reset all of your routines and create a bunch of new habits this back-to-school season, I hope this episode can help you do so in a way that's supportive and compassionate.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

✨ Sign-ups just opened for a brand new free masterclass I'm teaching: How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (give or take a few 😉). I'll be teaching one tool, not a fancy system or a huge overhaul. I'm teaching it live on Tuesday, September 15th and Friday, September 18th, both at 10:30 a.m. MT. Save your spot here!

✨ Monica's book, Sticky Habits: A Woman's Guide to Reclaim Happiness, Ditch Perfectionism, and Create Habits That Last, comes out September 8th. If you pre-order at stickyhabitsbook.com, then you're invited to the virtual launch party on September 8th, which I am co-hosting. Come join!



Related Episodes:

267: How to Stop Procrastinating in the New Year // Monica Packer

214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ Fogg

269: How to Create a Morning Routine that will Last // Sara Dean

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

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My instinct, when one of my kids is struggling, is to solve it, save them from it, or to worry about it so intensely that the worrying becomes consuming. These instincts are natural because I love my kids so much, and I hate to see them in pain. But they also don't work, at least not very effectively.

Our children need to experience hard things in order to grow, and the most useful thing I can do, as their mom, is to walk beside them, listen to their big emotions, and help them find resources. It doesn't come as instinctually because it's a slower process, but it's what they really need when they're going through something hard.

This is the sixth and final episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Support Their Struggles, and I picked that verb over solve, or save, or shame, because supporting means being with your child in the hard thing rather than lifting them out of it.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🤍 The list I have moms make in my program that helps them know where to start in supporting their children

🤍 What happened when I first started to suspect one of my kids had ADHD, and how I worked through the overwhelm of getting started

🤍 The green, yellow, and red descriptions for this principle, so you can name where you actually are right now without turning it into one more thing you're failing at

Whatever your child is carrying, you can be a steady presence beside them without picking it up and carrying it yourself, and that steadiness will mean more to them than any solution you could hand over. This is slow work; it's hard work, and it matters so much.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Take the free self-assured motherhood quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz to see how you're doing across all six principles, and you'll get a discount code when enrollment opens on September 14th.



Related Episodes:

420: How to Best Support a Neurodivergent Child // Kim Gameroz

448: Join Our Team! A Word from our SAM Sisters

399: When Your Teen Struggles with Friends // Brooke Romney

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

What you look for, you will find. I have believed that about motherhood for a long time now, long enough that I built a whole journal around the idea, and I have heard from hundreds of mothers who have had the same experience. They weren't finding more good because their children had suddenly changed. They were finding more good because they had started looking for it.

That is the whole heart of today's principle, and I love teaching it because it is such a happy way to parent. It makes you feel like a good mom. It reminds you that your kids are awesome, even on the days they are hard. And it gives you hope that all of this work you are doing is worth it, and that it is working.

This is the fifth episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of Self-Assured Motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing. Today's principle is Gather the Good, and we're talking about it specifically in the context of noticing and calling out the good in our children. When you start naming the good out loud, something lovely begins to happen. Your child starts to believe that story about who they are, and then they start behaving in ways that support it, which gives you more good to notice, which gives them more reason to believe it. It's a beautiful cycle, and it can start with one sentence said within earshot at the dinner table.

In this episode, you'll hear:

✨ The two sentences I say out loud about my kids when I know they can hear me, and why I'm not doing it to get them to behave

✨ Why the child who is hardest to praise is usually the one who needs it most, and what to do when that's the season you're in

✨ The green, yellow, and red descriptions for this principle, so you can figure out where you actually are right now, before the school year gets loud

There is so much good happening in your home already, and I hope this is the school year you get to spend more of your energy finding it.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

✨ Want to know how you're really doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take my free quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use some support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.

✨ If you're looking for a concrete daily practice for this principle, the Flecks of Gold Journal is the perfect tool to help.

Related Episodes:

447: What Parents in Disney Movies Got Wrong

304: Motherhood is hard. This helps.

158: Creating Golden Moments with Teenagers // Saren Eyre Loosli of Power of Families

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

I have a confession. Of the six principles I teach in Self-Assured Motherhood, soul-care is the one where I'm still not where I want to be. I've taken good care of my mind and my spirit over the years, but when work gets busy, the first things to go are exercise, sleep, and eating well, and I'm starting to feel the cost of that in my body as I get older.

I say soul-care rather than self-care on purpose. Self-care has gotten a bad rap over the last few years, and I understand why. It has come to sound like bubble baths and expensive skin care, which can be an overwhelming (and not always helpful) thing to hand a woman who is truly worn out and struggling. A soul is body, mind, and spirit together, and caring for all three is a much bigger and more useful thing to talk about.

This is day four of the Back-to-School Check-In for Moms, a six-part series walking through each principle of the Self-Assured Motherhood framework, one short episode at a time. Caring for your soul can be bubble baths, but it can also be eating regular meals, and scheduling your mammogram. It can be learning something interesting, and it can be making sure to schedule a much needed nap. Soul-care is how we make sure we have the energy and bandwidth we need to take care of those we love and thrive in our lives.

In this episode you'll hear:

🤍 The story of 33 men trapped underground for 69 days, and the warning the mountain had been giving for months before anyone stopped to listen

🤍 A question one of my SAM students asks about childcare that will change the way the phrase "self-care" sounds to you

🤍 The green, yellow, red assessment for this principle, and the color I had to give myself

If something in you has been asking for attention for a while now, I hope this short episode will give you permission to listen. You deserve to be taken care of, just like everyone else in your life.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Take the free Self-Assured Motherhood quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz to see how you're doing across all six principles. Quiz-takers get a discount when enrollment opens on September 14th.



Related Episodes:

438: How Soul-Care Can Help You Enjoy Motherhood More: Real Stories from Moms Like You // SAM Sisters

441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad

320: Making Space for Self-Care: It Might Not Be As Hard As You Think // Dr. Nicole Sparks

Episode Sponsors:

AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers, including the 3500, 4000, and 5500 models.

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

***

After years and years of therapy, I have gotten pretty good at setting boundaries with almost everyone in my life. My weakest area, by far, is my own children. I'm a softie, and it is very difficult for me to let my kids be unhappy and not immediately try to resolve it.

That instinct comes from something real, because connection with my children is one of my true strengths and I lean into it on purpose, but it can tip over into permissiveness pretty easily. And since I work from home, the line between when I'm mom and when I'm working has stayed blurry for years, which means I have been frustrated with my kids for interrupting me when I was never clear or consistent with them in the first place about when they could and could not come in.

This is the third episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Balance Your Boundaries, and because boundaries have become such a buzzword, I want to take us back to a simple definition of what they are and what they are not. Boundaries are what you will do to honor your needs, not what you expect other people to do. Which means the whole thing gets a lot simpler, because it stops depending on anyone else cooperating.

In this episode, you'll hear:

💜 A recording I made by accident that I decided to play for you, even though it is not my finest moment as a mom

💜 The image a counselor gave me years ago that I come back to every single time I feel guilty about holding a limit

💜 The sign I'm putting on my office door to help me, and what I'll do the first time on of my kids ignores it

Being unboundaried can feel like the loving choice, but it so rarely is. I hope this school year is the one where your boundaries start to feel like an act of love, because that is exactly what they are.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Want to know how you're really doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take the free interactive quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use more support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.

Related Episodes:

445: How to Set Boundaries without Damaging Relationships // Rachel on Happy Mom Summit

437: Boundaries and Emotional Resilience in Motherhood // Dr. Jen Riday

251: How to Set Boundaries with your Children // Stacey Collins

Episode Sponsors:

Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.

Let's Connect!

Join me on Instagram!

Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life

Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course

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