Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories

• Life after TFMR for rare genetic diagnosis: Rachel's physical & emotional recovery, and pregnancy after loss PART 2 OF 2

  In Part 2 of 2 of Rachel Polans' TFMR story, we move into what happened after her baby’s rare ‘de novo’ genetic mutation diagnosis. The D&E procedure in Brooklyn, the physical reality of being postpartum without a baby. Rachel talks about what it was like being in a general surgery pre-op area with people there for all kinds of procedures, not a space designed for pregnancy loss.Rachel shares about the haunting due date, seeing other people who were pregnant at the same time have their babies, and struggling with the medical record that says "elective termination" when that's not what this was at all.Rachel also opens up about how being a genetic counselor shaped her grief differently - she never even knew the term TFMR existed until after her loss, even though she had counseled families through this exact experience.If you're postpartum without your baby, if you're struggling with how the medical system names (or doesn’t name) what happened to you, if you work in healthcare and nobody prepared you for living through this yourself, or if you're trying to find your people and don't know what to search for: I hope Rachel's honesty about finding the TFMR community and now navigating pregnancy after loss will help you feel less alone.Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us 💜Rachel also wants to share her Instagram profile if you’d like to reach out to her:https://www.instagram.com/rachel_polansSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com You can have specific grief support in the heartbreak of TFMR.📅 If you’ve received a devastating diagnosis and want emotional support through deciding what’s next, book a Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcastMusic credit:Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeodCreative Commons LicenseLinks: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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• Rare genetic mutation KAT6B, led Rachel, a genetic counselor, to decide to terminate her wanted pregnancy PART 1 OF 2

  In Part 1 of 2 of this real TFMR story from mother Rachel Polans, we talk about the bad diagnosis that eventually led Rachel to end her wanted pregnancy. After struggles with infertility, IUI treatments, and a chemical pregnancy, Rachel finally got to hear this baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks.But a later ultrasound scan showed bilateral club feet and led to more testing… 7 weeks of waiting for amniocentesis results… and then the phone call on her husband’s birthday that changed everything: KAT6B gene mutation. A condition so rare there are fewer than 150 cases in the world - and Rachel recognized it because she happened to have a patient with this exact gene.As a pediatric genetic counselor, Rachel sees families going through these worst-case scenarios every single day. Going through it herself was something else entirely. Rachel's medical knowledge was both a blessing and a curse. It helped her know which tests to ask for, but it also meant she knew what could go awfully, awfully wrong.If you're waiting for test results right now, if you work in healthcare and this is happening to you, if your body is telling you something's wrong even before the doctors say anything - Rachel's story will help you feel less alone. Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby’s story with us 💜Rachel also wants to share her Instagram profile if you’d like to reach out to her:https://www.instagram.com/rachel_polansSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com📅 If you’ve received a devastating diagnosis and want emotional support through deciding what’s next, book a Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcastMusic credit:Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeodCreative Commons LicenseLinks:https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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• How common actually is TFMR? The hidden numbers might surprise (and comfort) you

  The numbers around TFMR might surprise you and hopefully comfort you too. In this episode, Sabrina Fletcher (hi there, that's me, the TFMR Doula) shares an unofficial but conservative estimate: TFMR happens in approximately 1 in 55 pregnancies. 😲 Surprised? I was too.And here's the thing: even that number is likely low when you factor in TFMR for maternal health, TFMR for mental health, and procedures performed at abortion clinics that never get counted as TFMR at all.Why don't we hear about TFMR more if it's this common? So many factors, including needing to stay silent for fear of backlash, grieving parents having to hide behind terms like "pregnancy loss," the political landscape, incorrect tracking/earmarking, stigma, and more.If you've ever felt alone in this experience, this episode is here to remind you: TFMR is happening far more than we think. You are NOT alone. You are one of many, and your grief is so very valid.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com📅 Book your Decision Support call: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcastMusic credit:Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeodCreative Commons LicenseLinks: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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• If your pregnancy loss space never mentions TFMR, it's not for 'all'

  If you've ever searched for pregnancy loss support and felt invisible when TFMR isn't mentioned, this episode is for you. Sabrina Fletcher (that’s me, The TFMR Doula) gets real about what it means when baby loss spaces claim to be "for all" but never list termination for medical reasons alongside miscarriage and stillbirth. She shares practical suggestions for grief spaces that want to truly welcome TFMR families: from using the term explicitly in descriptions to moderating stigmatizing comments to highlighting our stories (even anonymously).This isn't about calling any groups or specific people out. It's about calling them in.Many broad loss spaces genuinely want to learn how to be better allies, especially during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. If you've been looking for language to help others understand why representation matters, or if you run a space yourself and want to support TFMR families better, this episode gives specific steps forward. Because TFMR *IS* pregnancy loss, and we deserve to be named.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com📅 Book you Decision Support call: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:For more TFMR support, join us over on Instagram: www.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcastMusic credit:Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeodCreative Commons LicenseLinks: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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• "Do I belong in the TFMR community?" (Yes, you do)

  "Do I belong here?" is the question that breaks my heart every time someone asks. If you're wondering whether your TFMR counts, whether your situation is "too different" to fit in our community, whether you'll be welcome here...this episode is for you.The truth is, the world has already made you question your place in so many spaces. Not here. Here, you belong.Whether your loss was for your health or your baby's health, whether it was a gray diagnosis or fatal, whether this was your first pregnancy or you have living children, whether you're fresh out or decades past. YOU BELONG. Your story matters. Your baby matters. And we want to hear from you. This is your invitation home.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:📧 Email me, I want to hear from you: sabrina @ the tfmrdoula . com📅 Book you Decision Support call: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/everything to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings💜 Join our Facebook group: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup🎙 Want to share your story on Our TFMR Stories?Email Sabrina sabrina @ the TFMR doula . com to be featured on the podcast.Music credit:Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeodCreative Commons LicenseLinks: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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