Awakening Now

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Here's the Buzzsprout description for episode 133, in your voice, mentioning the live Zoom recording and the open invitation to join next time.
You can already understand that there is no separate self, clearly and without doubt, and still feel that nothing has changed. The understanding sits in the mind like a fact you have memorised, while life keeps arriving with the same fears, the same upsets, the same quiet sense that something still isn't right.
This episode is a recording of a live Zoom meeting, and it moves through three parts. It opens with a talk for the seeker who looked for the self, found nothing, and quietly decided that meant they had failed. We look at the expectation waiting underneath the search, and at what happens when you turn back toward the very nothing you keep dismissing.
From there I sit with a few people, and two of those exchanges stay with me. George is eighty-five and has understood for over ten years that there is no separate self, yet still wants to know how to get there. Together we look at how an upset is really an energy moving in the body, and how the me is a story that borrows its weight from the feeling underneath it. Then I speak with Sebastian, and we follow a lifelong guilt down into the body, into the shame beneath it, and into the young child who first learned it. This is where the looking becomes a kind of healing.
If you understand all of this clearly in the mind and still feel it hasn't quite landed in the body, this conversation may speak to where you actually are. These meetings happen live, and you are warmly welcome to join the next one. You can find the details and stay in touch here: https://zcmp.eu/1XWa
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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There is a particular kind of loneliness in believing you are in here, and everything else is out there. Most of us carry that feeling for years without ever asking where it came from, or whether it was ever true.
In this episode of Awakening Now, I'm speaking with Sabina Witzel, a German awakening guide and author who has spent years supporting people through the awakening process. Early in our conversation, I ask Sabina what awakening actually means to her, and she offers something simple that stays with you: "awakening to me is like closing the gap."
Together, we spend real time in direct pointing and self-inquiry, searching for the actual line between inside and outside, self and world, the illusion of a separate self most of us never think to question. Sabina describes what she found when she looked closely: "there was no dividing line, there was just an idea, like inside, outside. There is no line in experience." Near the end, she says it even more plainly: "all of it is just an idea, all of it."
This conversation may speak to you if you've had a glimpse of this seeing but still feel the old sense of separation returning, or if you're drawn to nonduality and direct inquiry but want it explored simply, without unnecessary jargon.

You can find Sabina at www.sabina-witzel.com/en

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message
In this episode of Awakening Now, I speak with Sukhdev Virdee, author of sixteen books on Advaita Vedanta and nondual philosophy.
Sukhdev works with people who have already explored the teachings deeply. They have read the books, watched the videos, understood nonduality intellectually, and yet still feel that something hasn't fully landed.
We explore Sukhdev's own awakening experience and the years of inquiry that followed. Together we look at the relationship between awakening and understanding, the role of spiritual teachings, self-inquiry, and a question many seekers eventually face:
What happens when the pointers are no longer getting you anywhere?
This conversation touches on consciousness, awareness, identity, the nature of reality, and the subtle ways seeking can continue even after profound insights have occurred.
If you've ever felt that you understand the teachings but something remains unresolved, this episode may speak directly to your experience.
Sukhdev Virdee works with those who have already done the work, read the books, watched the videos, understood nonduality intellectually, and still find something hasn't fully landed.
Most teachings point one toward Awareness and stop there. Sukhdev goes in the opposite direction. He turns toward what is false and dismantles it precisely, the ego, the I thought, the mechanics of how the mind keeps confusion alive, until the mind has nothing left to rebuild the seeking from. Understanding ends the seeking. Believing doesn't.
He is the author of sixteen books on Advaita Vedanta and nondual philosophy and teaches through his YouTube channel and one-on-one mentorship.
YouTube: youtube.com/@sukhdevvirdee
Books: amazon.com/author/sukhdevvirdee

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message
In this episode of Awakening Now, I speak with Jim Newman, a well-known voice in radical nonduality.
Jim shares one of the most uncompromising messages in the spiritual world: there is no separate self, no path, no one becoming awakened, and nothing to attain.
Together, we explore seeking, liberation, free will, embodiment, and the challenge of speaking about what cannot be grasped conceptually.
This conversation may bring relief, curiosity, frustration, resistance, or a sense of recognition. Rather than deciding what to think, notice how it lands in you.
What happens when the seeker encounters a message it cannot use?
 Jim Newman, a well-known voice in radical nonduality. For the past ten years, he has shared a message that challenges many traditional spiritual teachings, pointing to the absence of a separate self and the immediacy of what is already present. His approach is direct, uncompromising, and often provocative, inviting listeners to question some of their most fundamental assumptions about identity and awakening. 
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message
“How do I awaken?” is the question many sincere seekers carry. Hidden inside it is often an expectation that awakening will bring permanent peace, clarity, or distance from difficult emotions.
In this live Zoom meeting, Ilona explores that expectation directly with participants. Together we look at what happens when confusion, fear, hopelessness, or inner tension are treated as a problem to get rid of. Instead of trying to escape experience, the invitation is to meet it. Again and again the inquiry comes back to something simple: is it safe to feel what is here right now?
We also explore the pressure of time, the sense of “wasting life,” and the belief that life should be different than it is. Another participant looks at the sense of control in the head and discovers something freeing: a sensation cannot control anything. It can be felt, seen, and allowed.
This episode is for you if you understand awakening intellectually, yet still feel like a separate self, still get pulled into emotions, or still search for a better moment. The conversation points to one direct truth: awakening is not awakening away from experience. It is awakening to what is here.
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com