GoOD Mornings with CurlyNikki

UnBecoming Part 5.2: The Fly. (May 21, 2026)
At this point, the signs are loud. You see them everywhere. Every time you look up. Every time you look at the clock, it's 11:11 or 1:11 or 2:22 or 3:33 or 4:44 or 5:55... white feathers, butterflies, certain birds, messages that seem to be directed at you on bumper stickers, license plates, billboards, in the most random places, at the most poignant times. But you know stuff. You have a degree in psychology. You know about pattern recognition or sensory gating; you know that at some point, you started looking for these signs, looking for meaning, assigning meaning to them. And yet... and yet. CONTINUE >>>
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UnBecoming Part 5: How to Fail (May 20, 2026)
Your whole life, you've felt this urgency. Not like you were running out of time, but that you only had a certain amount of time to figure it out. To remember what you couldn't seem to remember. What always felt just out of reach. What others seemed to didn't care about or even know of. They were busy living life and having friends. You didn't have many growing up (you don't have any now).
Your mom said you rarely smiled, and all you wanted to do was be alone with your books. You began reading esoteric and mystical literature by the age of seven. You were doing practices to get out of your body, to find out what was beyond your body, by age ten. Staring into mirrors, at that reflection, looking back down at that body, knowing it wasn't you. CONTINUE >>>
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UnBecoming Part 4.3- The Last Morning (May 19, 2026)
"How are you?"
When someone is secretly struggling, barely holding it together, smiling for the world, wearing the mask, playing the role, fighting for their Light, dropping those three words with actual presence, can decimate their entire structure. And on that final morning of the retreat, those were the words that broke the silence. They didn't come from a person, but from the empty room, from the full silence, appearing as a person, your teacher. Appearing as a polished mirror. You looked up to answer, but saw. You burst into tears. You sobbed. Finally.
That morning, as you and the other meditators gathered, among whom were your partner and your favorite cousin, you didn't choose your usual spot on the floor. You were disgusted. You were angry, humiliated. Your eyes were swollen from crying the night before. You were ready to go. So instead of your perfect lotus posture, sitting deep into the room right in front of the teacher, like the good student, you sat near the door, in a chair. You defiantly, and passive-aggressively, meditated in a chair. CONTINUE >>>
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UnBecoming Part 4.1 - The Blue Book (May 18, 2026)
Every major change in your life has been preceded by, and in hindsight, likely predicted by the arrival of a certain blue book. You used to think you were the one finding the book, buying the book, reading the book, remembering to take the Name again, giving the book away again, forgetting the Name again, life falling apart again, finding the book, buying the book... you finally saw the pattern. It only took three cycles. Two incarnations, two different versions of yourself to catch on to the game. CONTINUE >>>
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UnBecoming Part 4 - California Love (May 17, 2026)
Your only trips to California had been to L.A. To the Hills. To Grammy parties. Red carpets. Album releases. VIP sections. Celebrity culture. You've squeezed so many incarnations into this one. So many stories. Many of which have dissolved entirely. The only thing you can recall consistently now is the Name of God. When you bump into pictures of those previous iterations of yourself, it's very dreamlike. The past is very dreamlike. CONTINUE >>>
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